I hate roller coasters. And the only way I can describe the past week is by saying it feels like someone blind folded me, stuffed me in a rickety seat and barely strapped me in. There have been tiny ups and big, big downs, moving at a thousand miles per hour. I’ve almost fallen out a few times now, but luckily the people around me have kept me upright. I’ve actually never rode on a single amusement park ride before in real life and it’s safe to say I have no plans to in near future. This has all been enough for me.
This is the very personal and sad story of my third pregnancy. I suffered an ectopic pregnancy. I am not writing this for sympathy. I am writing this because I don’t personally know a single person who has gone through an ectopic pregnancy. That fact feels isolating. What helps is knowing that maybe I can help someone else feel a little better. This is for sure the most intimate information that I am publicly sharing, but I quickly realized I would and could not hide it. I cannot just walk back into the studio after a few weeks and pretend I had the flu. I share my life and my energy with others and this my friends, is my life right now. My mind, my body, my energy will all be affected in the coming days and all I can ask is for understanding and patience.
I share this because I think it’s important to be open about what we go through. It’s not always pretty. It’s not always pleasant. Maybe some things feels like TMI. But I feel like you shouldn’t have to google these things at midnight and find yourself in a chatroom thread of random strangers talking about intimate topics. I wish more people would share their resources, help make connections and warmly invite their friends and neighbors to coffee or for a walk. If I have these feelings, other people must as well. (I hope?) And it’s important to always remember that things WILL get better. Even though it may feel like it, you are never alone.
I also share because you can still feel all the big things, at ALL stages of life. With the passing of one phase, comes a new one. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes for the tougher. Usually a blend of both, filling and testing the nooks of your mama flesh.
Family photo shoots. Love them? Hate them? Doesn’t matter. No matter how hard they seem, I think family photos are a must! I thought it would be fun to take you behind the scenes of my last family photo shoot with Janelle Carmela Photography this past June in Charlestown. I’m going to break down how we got some of my most FAVORITE images to date.
… Things slipped out of control right underneath my own nose. The thing is, I consider myself an organized person. I actually find great joy in cleaning, organizing and decorating. But with two small children, a busy career and a husband who does not share my passion for putting things away neatly, I quite frankly felt buried alive in our “stuff.” Suddenly every project just seemed really big and would require hours of (child-free) labor that I didn't have. And this killed me. At times I actually felt like I was suffocating inside my own house. Then in walked Aggie. Aggie is the founder and owner of PRIM - a Boston based personal organizing business…
This week was Grayson’s first week of “real” school. He’s in a K1 (that’s pre-kindergarten) at Harvard Kent which is a Boston Public School. The school hours are 9:30am - 4:00pm. Quite the change from his previous nursery school which he attended there days a week for only four hours a day. I advocated for Grayson to get into this school. Hoped, prayed, wished on a shooting star - you name it. As a family we wanted this. And it happened. I was excited about the idea of all this ‘extra’ time I’d have on my hands. But I wasn’t prepared for the transition. Not at all.
Happy September! I don’t know about you but for me, fall has rushed in rather rudely knocking over all order and balance in my life. I’ve been waking up not knowing what day it is and in a frenzy to establish new order and routine for both myself and my family. More about all of that later though. Considering that I can’t keep track of all of my upcoming happenings there’s no way you can either, so I’ve complied some highlights below. This is as much for me as it is for you. Ha! There’s so much to look forward to and I hope to see many of you soon!
As a mother, I feel an innate connection to other mothers and a great responsibility to connect with and support them. Which is why when I was invited to attend a Comcast event in support of Autism Awareness Month I was excited about the opportunity. I knew I would learn new things and be surrounded by incredible parents which always helps when you’re feeling like you need some inspiration.I realized after an evening with Comcast that the X1 system provides a peace of mind for parents. As I’m going through right now, with my own children and all the ups and downs, life is stressful. I think all parents, not just those with children who have Autism can agree that any tool or technology that aids in making life just a little bit easier is valuable.
Do you ever have those moments where you just stop and think," Wow, how did I get here?" It doesn't have to be a big dramatic event, just an ordinary life experience that is the culmination of many small moments, built upon each other, year after year... taking you to where you are right here, right now.
I often refer to last summer as the mass exodus. Not one, not two, not three, but many, MANY of our closest friends left our little neighborhood to move to the suburbs. I think when you live in the city it's inevitable that people make the transition to the 'burbs,' especially when their children get closer to school age. But I was shell shocked when quite literally all of my friends, who felt like family, and then some, were suddenly leaving, all at once.
Let me guess... You're reading this post because you take barre (or workout) classes all the time. You daydream about a job were you can wear workout gear and move your body freely instead of being stuck behind a desk. You want to inspire others. You'd love to lead a classroom of eager students. BUT (because there's always a but) you're nervous. You're not sure if you're good enough. You're worried you'll pay to get certified and then not get a job and not make any money. You are shy. Well, I'm here to tell you that YOU CAN.
We now have just ONE WEEK under our belts and you guys have literally blown me away! Classes have been filling up, with over 100 people registered on my site!!! WHAT!?! The vibe during each bootcamp is more than I could have imagined. Pilates on the grass under the summer sun. Boston lurking in the skyline. Early mornings with crisp, cool air while we breathe in our day and lengthen our bodies and minds.
Just a few weeks ago I did something for the first time. I modeled clothing. Not Nike sports bras and sneakers but I'm talking dresses, stilettos and jewels. I kept thinking to myself, "Who do I think I am? I'm no model." And you know what I am NO model! (And that's not just because I'm like a foot too short.) But I didn't let that stop me. I did it and lived to talk about it with you...
Recently I had the opportunity to work with Janelle Carmela Photography on a motherhood project. Janelle and I had never met before but we corresponded over email for several weeks leading up to our shoot date. I was really apprehensive about how the experience would play out. Life lately at our house has been chaotic, stressful and in my mind, it's rarely pretty. Two children under three, a 70 pound wild woman dog and two working parents doesn't equate for a photo shoot worthy situation. Or so I thought.
My initial response to trying new things is usually to think no. No, I can't do that. No, that won't work. No, I'm not good enough. Some of you may be surprised to learn that I always have this subtle case of internal anxiety. I've just gotten really good at controlling it. Through the years I've learned if there's something I'm nervous or afraid of then that usually means I have to do it.
Recently I sat down to answer a series of interview questions for my friend Lucie Wicker who started a blog series called #FitMomTalks. It was so rewarding to take the time to share my thoughts. I hope you enjoy reading.